


Distraction

by TalkTitanToMe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternative Universe - College, Alternative Universe - Texting, College Student Eren Yeager, Crack, Ereri College Au, Hange is a little bitch and they know it, I Don't Even Know, I suck at this, Multi, Nonbinary Hange Zoë, One Shot, Over - Protective Eren Yeager, Over Protective Eren Yeager, POV First Person, Protective Eren Yeager, Sassy Armin Arlert, attack on titan - Freeform, cursing, ereri, i have some ideas, i mean really hard cursing, kind of a crack fic, levi is in the 104th squad, oops I meant third person, so are hange and erwin, texting au, uhh I really don't know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-29
Updated: 2017-08-29
Packaged: 2018-12-21 12:19:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11944053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TalkTitanToMe/pseuds/TalkTitanToMe
Summary: Levi Ackerman knew he was fucked up when a certain Hange have smashed their head to the wall just to 'be able to concentrate' while studying. He was in no better shape. It's just until, the famous 'Squad 104th' WhatsApp group members all went online at once.This does not contain sexual themes, but there is mention of all that stuff.





	Distraction

**Author's Note:**

> Eh- umm- hi? I'm not good at greeting people, sorry. *sighs*  
> Okay. Let me try one more time.  
> Hello y'all! This is my first ereri fanfic so far, -actually, i dont even think this can be labeled as an 'ereri fic'. Its more like a crack fic.- and i dont even know what have i done lmao. So, ill be very thankful if you leave kudos or positive comments -i-i mean if you want to erm...ugh okay i know i suck maybe ill give you a cookie if you do?? *nervous laughter*  
> I might write part two if you guys want it, i have some reeeeaaaally interesting idea in my mind *inserts lenny face*  
> Anyway, please enjoy, love you!
> 
> Important!  
> P.S: Originally this fanfic was going to contain a lot of emoji but AO3 decided it might not be a good idea. So please imagine the group title with lots of flame, 'cool face' and a poop emoji.  
> And imagine some lovers' emoji next to Eren's name. Such as... ah... maybe some hearts?? Or again flames?? Idk much about this kind of stuff lol.
> 
> !! Important 2 !!  
> The time (you will see) when Jean says Eren 'go straight to hell' might trigger some of you, I definitely NOT MEAN IT. It's just Jean being a you know. I'm strongly against homophobia. Thank you for your understanding.

   It was an ordinary Saturday afternoon; everything calm, quiet, atmosphere peaceful. A little too quiet, at least to a certain Levi Ackerman who was deep into studying on his desk by lying on a history book. To be honest, he wasn't studying at all, his mind busy somewhere else. He wasn't distracted by a certain thing, he just couldn't concentrate even though there was nothing -he made sure there wasn't before starting-  to be distracted about. Right now, his thoughts were slowly changing from plumps to tea. His afternoon tea. A frown started to form on his face. He'd missed his fucking afternoon tea staring at a shitty excuse of a book. He only then realized his eyes weren't on the pages anymore and he was lying on themselves. He got up quickly and gave himself a mental slap. _Come on, you need to focus shithead_. He tried to find where he was before daydreaming. He needed to pass this exam. He needed a messy A written in red marker on his paper. He laughed at the thought. He? Getting an A? From this class? Ridiculous. History was being a little bitch to him that year. If he couldn't get an A, he was failing Mr. Fucking Zacharias' shitty class, and Levi was sure that wasn't a good thing more than he had ever been sure in his whole fucking life. His grades weren't bad at total, actually he was in the top three; he being second under Arlert and Eren being third. His face relaxed a bit at the thought of Eren, almost making a purring sound. Almost. His beloved boyfriend. He wondered if he was studying right now.

   He slammed his head to the desk with a groan. He just couldn't focus. Why the fucking hell was it so hard? He stood and ran a hand through his messy raven locks while glancing at the title of the topic he meant to be studying. There was saliva on the gigantic 'T'. He has fucking drooled while thinking about tea. Fucking disgusting. Groaning again, he decided to read the first line aloud, maybe it would help him concentrate? Hey, he was desperate.

   Okay. Here we go.

   ''The-''

   ''UUUOOOOAAAAAAAGGGH!''    

    _SLAM_.

   He was interrupted by a sudden muffled moan and the sound of something being threw to the wall coming from next room. He sighed loudly, his breathing full of anger and annoyance while rolling his eyes. Since the walls were thin as paper, he was sure (okay maybe a little less sure than the failing crap) he was heard loud and clear.

   ''I CANT. FUCKING. FOCUS. FUCK MY LIFE. You know what? I'm gonna end my life right here and right now.'' It seemed like his housemate Hange wasn't doing any better. Levi threw his own book to the wall where his and Hanji's room were intersecting to gain attention.

   ''Finally.'' He muttered to himself.

   ''Ugh, rude.'' Levi heard footsteps getting near to the common wall. He frowned, wondering what was his shitty excuse of a friend doing. The footsteps stopped right before Hanji being smashed to the wall. Levi couldn't stop thinking if they were deciding whether or not to break the wall, jump to Levi and strangle him to death.

   Knowing Hange, Levi shivered at the thought.

   He literally jumped on his seat when he heard something crash to the wall. This time, he was sure (yes. He was as sure as that.) it wasn't something as light as a book. Muffled groans of hurt confirmed what he had thought.

   ''Hange?'' Levi rarely used their name, only the times when 1- he got mad, like real mad. Example: When that fuckhead filled his tea with soil and 2- he knew some serious shit was going on. Another example: When Hanji called him middle of the night -the night when Levi thought they were sleeping on their bed- and asked him to go help them get down from the roof because they were scared from height. Later that night Levi found Hange on the roof (surprise) completely naked with a beer bottle in their hand. And when Levi asked them how did they even get to there, their intoxicated face has turned into something very serious, which Levi had never seen them like that; very unlike Hange. Then they have told him with a blank voice, as if it was obvious. 'I fucking flew.' Like duh, Levi?

   When he had no answer, he repeated himself a little cough very cough angry, aware of the fact that Hanji knew how Levi hated to repeat himself.

   ''Hange,'' He slowly called, letting annoyance sink in his every word. '' _what the fuck_ are you doing?''

   ''Oh hello munchkin,'' They were speaking in a very calm and happy voice, like if nothing had happened. ''Ah, I was just studying and couldn't concentrate -can you believe that? And then I thought slamming my head to the wall would be a good idea. To get my brain together, you know.''

   Levi knew the last pieces of mood to study was gone already, so he walked to the wall where he had thrown his book to pick it up. Silence. He took his phone from the desk and sat on his bed, leaning his back to the bed frame. He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes, then sighed.

   ''You have problems.''

   Their muffled groaning of disapproval was cut in half with a simple ding! which came from both Levi's and their phones.

    **SQUAAAAAVD 104TH**   _yes, the shit emoji was meant for Levi. Hilarious._

    _Horseshit:_

_Anyone can study?_

Behind that fucking wall, Levi knew Hange was looking directly at his eyes with a creepy, devilish grin; just like a child who was going to prank their friend.

_Me:_

_thank you very much for asking shithead. Im leaving the fucking group._

But before he could even leave, there was that cursed sentence right under the group name:

_Shitty Glasses is writing..._

And it had begun. Hange wrote all they had done that might have caused their distracted state starting from this morning (including eating a rotten tomato which was now giving them an incredible headache -what the fuck was that supposed to mean?!- and how they had a dump so hard it was now hurting their ass -detailed, of course) in an extremely annoying way which was writing every sentence as a new message.

   The worst part was, that fucktard had set his phone to a shitty mode which was every time a message was sent to him, it appeared as a window, froze the whole fucking phone and won't go unless you click 'close'. It doesn't matter even if you aren't using that damn app. In his current state, Hange's sequent text messages won't allow him to close the phone. Not to mention leaving the group chat was beyond impossible.

_Shitty Glasses:_

_...and after that_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_...i thought that slamming_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_...my head to the wall_

_Me:_

_Oi stop_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_...cuzZ WHY NOT?!!_

Levi couldn't take it anymore. He just couldn't.

   ''SHUT THE FUCK UP OR I'LL HIT THAT USELESS COCKY MOUTH OF YOURS WITH THE SHOVEL WE USE TO DIG OUT SHIT OR MAYBE ILL FUCK THAT MOUTH UNTILL YOUR THROAT WONT BE WHERE ITS SUPPOSED TO BE OH WAIT I JUST REMEMBERED YOU ACTUALLY WANTED ME TO FUCK YOUR LIFE WHY NOT TRYING? YOU SON OF AN ASSHOLE BITCHY BASTARD.''

   Mad laughter came from the other side of the wall.

_ding!_

_Shitty Glasses has sent a voice message._

_Shitty Glasses:_

_Look Eren!!! When i told you u didn't believe me but Levi thinks of cheating on you. And guess with_ _who! MEEEE!!!!!!!CAN U BELIEVE THAT!!!!_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_I mean i always knew i had a hange-charm on people but..._

_Shitty Glasses: Its just wrong levi!_

_Bae is writing..._

   Levi couldn't do anything but stare at the screen wide-eyed for a few seconds. After he had received his mind back;    

 ''HAAAAAAAAAANNNNGGGGGGEEEEE!''

_ding!_

_Shitty Glasses has sent a voice message._

_Shitty Glasses:_

_Oh look! Hes already started to call me by my name. Sucha short kawaii little men :3_

Hange's door swung open at the same time with Levi's, but their lower weight allowed them to run faster. Soon, Hange was out of Levi's sight, laughing like a mad scientist.

_..._

_Bald and Shitty:_

_...hange i think you should run._

_Commander Shitwin:_

_...agreed._

_One Shit of a Potato:_

_LMAOOOOOO I JUST CANT_

_Blonde Shit:_

_it was nice knowing you Hange. Really. I admired you._

_Sihtmeen:_

_guys cant you see theyre doing it already. like geez even connie could understand that._

_Bald and Shitty:_

_YEAH! I DID!1!!11!_

Hange and Levi pressed 'send'. Simultaneously.

_Me:_

_Where ru_

Levi pressed his message to see who had seen it./seen by Bald and Shitty, Commander Shitwin, Bae,One Shit of a Potato, Blonde Shit, Yeemir's Shit, MikasHit, Shitmeen, **Shitty Glasses**.

_Shitty Glasses:_

_omg guys calm down. levi doesnt know im hiding in the wardrobe in our basement rn_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_..._

_Shitty Glasses:_

_holy shit_

   ...

   The trapdoor was opened with a loud scream of hardened metal mixing cracked wood. The silver rays of light made the dust visible in the air as soon as the black silhouette was revealed in the small wooden basement. It started to get smaller with every loud footstep. The brunette inside the old wardrobe couldn't help but shiver at the scene they were watching from the slight crack which was formed by rats at the right wing of their nest. They gulped, shaky fingers clenching around the phone which was recording the scene. There was nothing else to do but to pray the God; to make their final wishes. The brunette jumped slightly when they started to hear laughter. The deep, husky voice sent shivers down their spine. Again. Even the rats seemed terrified, there was no sequeling to be heard.

   ''Oh...my...god...'' The brunette whispered to the camera but couldn't help the shakiness in their voice. They tried to steady their breathing. ''Okay. I-i think I may have gone a-a-a little too far th-is time,'' They gasped at the sudden shriek of a blade being sharpened. Then let out a shaky breath. ''Tell mh-my mom that-t I-''

   ''SO you thought you could get away with it.'' The same deep voice made the brunette play with their messy ponytail while adjusting their glasses. They felt their arms wrapping around their torso. ''You thought _I_ would let you get away with it.'' They gulped. The footsteps stopped right in front of the wardrobe. Hanji held a breath and shut their eyes. But human curiosity can't be forcibly restrained. They opened one eye hesitantly and found a wide bloody grey one staring right into their eye from the crack.      

    _''Found you.''_    

   The phone was dropped to the ground with an ear bleeding scream.    

   ...      

_Blonde Shit:_

_Hange? You alright right there?_

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_Pff who cares. Lets go_

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_Imma take you Hisu <3     _

_Bald and Shitty:_

_wAIT._

_MikasHit:_

_where u goin_

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_histORIA NO_

_Blonde Shit:_

_Café Rose. Why?_

_Bald and Shitty:_

_YOU FUCKERS DIDNT INVITE ME TO YOUR PARTY?!_

_Shitty Glasses has sent a video._

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_That's because its called a date you jerk_

_Horseshit has opened the video._

_Horseshit:_

_what the fuck_

_Horseshit:_

_is that even legal to be sent to someone_

_MikasHit has opened the video._

_MikasHit:_

_its psychological harassing_

_Commander Shitwin has opened the video._

_Commander Shitwin:_

_...Levi. I think that's a little too much._

_One Shit of a Potato has opened the video._

_One Shit of a Potato:_

_okay guys but this is creepy as hell._

_Bald and Shitty has opened the video._

_Bald and Shitty:_

_G-guys... This is a joke right?_

_Bald and Shitty:_

_I don't think i will be able to sleep tonight_

_Blonde Shit:_

_Hey what is it?_

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_NO DONT HISTORIA._

_ill open it first to see if it is acceptable for you to see._

_Yeemir's Shit has opened the video._

_**Yeemir's Shit has removed Blonde Shit from the group chat.**_

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_wHAT THE FUCK HANJI_

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_AND LEVI YOU TOO_

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_YOU BETTER REMEMBER HISTORIA IS IN THIS GROUP._

_Bae has opened the video._

_Bae:_

_idk what to say_

_Bae:_

_it would be a lie if i say this didnt turn me on_

_Horseshit:_

_WHAT THE FUCK YEAGER_

_Horseshit:_

_YOU FUCKING PERVERT_

_Horseshit:_

_NO WONDER WHY YOU CANT WALK STRAIGHT EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE_

_Bae:_

_i_ _t was only once i usually dont_

_Bae:_

_YOU KNOW WHAT AT LEAST I HAVE A BOYFRIEND TO DO THINGS_

_Horseshit:_

_AT LEAST IM NOT INTO DUDES_

_Horseshit:_

_GOD HATES YOU GO STRAIGHT TO HELL_

_Bae:_

_YOU BASTARD_

_Freckled Shit: hey guys_

_Bae:_

_DO YOU THINK I FORGOT WHAT I SAW TWO YEARS AGO JEANBO_

_Horseshit:_

_IF YOU SAY IT ILL COME AND STAB YOU_

_Bae:_

_AHH MARCO-OOOH_

_Bae:_

_AHH SGOODD_

_Shitmeen:_

_WHOOOPKAY WE CAN STOPRIGHT NOW._

_Freckled Shit:_

_ah me?_

_Freckled Shit:_

_wait what_

_Freckled Shit:_

_jean??!!!!_

_Shitty Glasses is writing..._

_One Shit of a Potato:_

_OHMYGOD HANGE URE ALIVE?!_

_Me:_

_Im offended. Am i that of a monster_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_I do not be a shithead. That is my least favorite thing to do._

_Bald and Shitty:_

_oh my god levi what have you done to hanji_

_Bald and Shitty:_

_you monster_

_Bae:_

_say that again and you're good as dead._

_Me:_

_Shitty Glasses you better shut the fuck up or_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_HAHAHHA just joking lol_

_Horseshit:_

_Hey levi_

_Me:_

_what is it_

_Horseshit:_

_Have you read the old messages_

_Horseshit:_

_The ones that were sent while you and hanji were you know_

_Me:_

_no. do i need to_

_Me:_

_and stop writing like we had sex_

_Me:_

_thats just disgusting._

_**Shitty Glasses has added Blonde Shit to the group chat.**     _

_Horseshit:_

_Nooooooo you don't need to jjust live the moment_

_Bald and Shitty:_

_what_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_this time im offended._

_Me:_

_for the fucking sake of god please be offended_

_Shitty Glasses:_

_levi?? Cursing?? GO WASH YOUR LITTLE MOUTH OUT YOUNG MAN._

_Me:_

_shut the fuck up_

_Me:_

_and my mouths not small._

_Bae:_

_Definitely not small._

_Yeemir's Shit:_

_HISTORIA GET THE FUCK OUT_

**Author's Note:**

> So, after my failed greeting here i am again! Don't worry, i will leave you alone after this.  
> I hope you enjoyed the chapter! Please let me know what do you think. Actually, I dont think anyone's gonna read this but that tiny piece of desperate hope inside me tells me not to give up so early.
> 
> The idea in my mind was squad 104th ruining Historia and Ymir's date, and some other things i find funny even if they aren't (?)  
> So, if you want a part two, please feel free to comment!


End file.
